DAZ76

November 5, 2008

An open letter to Gavin McInnes

Filed under: What does Daz76 have to say about it? — daz76 @ 12:06 am
Tags: , ,

Dear Gavin McInnes,

First off go fuck yourself for banning me from your website and calling me a fag. I want you to know right off that just because I am a fag does not mean I’m gay. You sir however, are indeed gay.

I don’t know what you hippies in Canada do, but here in the USA we have a thing called free speech and you should look into it. It’s really cool, especially if you are a writer, but oh yeah, you’re not. Sure sure you try, here, there, but we all know that you were born rich and pay your slaves (African French Canadian ones, the worst kind) to do your “writing” for you. By the way, that’s probably why there are so many typos and unnecessary references to poutine and the Kalahari in your “works”.

So you banned me from your website for leaving some comments and a few references to my own blog (which I’m sure you will now plunder for nuggets of humorous gold to recycle in your own posts, and that my friend is a don’t, if you know what I’m saying) even though you provide a little box in which to write them. It even says something like, “Leave a message and it’s on our homepage” which is an open invitation to promote a band, store, website, whatever. Duh! If there are some rules (restrictions) then they should be clearly posted. Something like, “Hey everybody, write something here! Except you Daz76, except you”. It’s like painting a wall white and then putting a few cans of Montana spray paint out next to a twelve pack and not expecting someone to get loose on that bitch with some wild style. What you have demonstrated by banning me is just another example of classic Canadian Bacon flavored oppression.

Mr. McAnus, I know this message is a little rough and I hope your uncanny banishment of me from your site is not related to my well documented lack of regard for a woman’s marital status and my love of adultery. You being a married man I can see how that could be troublesome but I don’t date Canadian women so you’re safe, dude, chill. By the way Canada sucked in the Olympics, and I often wonder if that had anything to do with you. Probably yes.

So yeah, I didn’t want to read your blog anyway so I’m glad I was banned. I only looked at it because I am curious about various cultures from lesser developed regions. I was just doing research so it doesn’t really matter anyway. What’s funny is that I was going to ban you from reading my blog but I couldn’t figure out how to do it so you sort of saved me the trouble. Take that, douche nad.

No regards,

Not yours,

Daz76

PS: To my other readers,

Gavin McInnes is the man behind http://www.streetcarnage.com and invented making fun of peoples clothes from afar. He is also kind of responsible for inventing hipsters, Engrish, and Andrew WK. Whatever you do, do not read his stuff, you wont laugh or anything. I am actually banned from street carnage for promoting my blog there too much, but I’m pretty sure they are just testing my mettle before flying me to New York City for a meeting to discuss my salary as chief corespondent for the site. But who knows, I might just grab the Rolodex off the Street Carnage secretaries’ desk and haul ass to the Vice Magazine office where I can really party down in Uganda and shit.

street carnage dot com logo

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13 Comments »

  1. so many things are wrong about you that i’m not gonna argue here, but i just wanted to tell you, you did not even get his name spelled right. the worst is that they think i’m you and they banned me too, stupid fuck. but you know, they ARE right, you write like shit.

    Comment by buck — November 6, 2008 @ 11:12 am | Reply

  2. I really don’t know why you care so much, but thanks for pointing out the name spelling thing.

    Why the fuck do they think you are me? You seem to really hate me!

    But thanks for reading anyway.

    Comment by daz76 — November 7, 2008 @ 12:31 am | Reply

  3. […] Dear Street Carnage, Oh snap, I feel like an asshole.Truth is I knew what I was doing leaving my info on your site was spammish, but the thought of being noticed seemed highly unlikely to me, especially by you. I did receive a few “Shut up, homo” type comments, and that kind of egged me on even more. At the same time, if you are going to put that little box on your site shouldn’t you be prepared for such guerrilla style self promotional tactics?? And by the way, I can still access that and leave messages whenever I want, I just haven’t. Look, I’ve been reading your shit for years (and I mean years) and I’m one of your biggest fans. I feel sort of like I’ve been shushed at the theater by Oscar Wilde for laughing too loud at a fart joke. There is nothing for sale on my blog, just some words, and for whatever reason my stats today are the highest they have ever been. I’m hoping that’s because you and your team have been pouring over my poems and posts trying to decide which one to publish first on Street Carnage. Call me a fag if you want, but I’ve dreamed of contributing to your site forever. I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to contact me directly even if it was kind of a fuck you sort of message. At least I’m not worried about hackers anymore. I’m going to write you an open letter on my blog tonight and hopefully when all is said and done you will read it, chuckle a little, and then decide to buy me a beer when you come to Austin for SXSW. On that note, if you need anything in Austin just let me know. I’m sure you have tons of peoples here, but I’m just putting it out there. Thanks again for getting back to me, and I am very sorry for being annoying. Keep up the good work, and thank you for all the insane laughing fits over the years. With kindest regards, Darren Ryan AKA daz76 […]

    Pingback by STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE » DEAR STREET CARNAGE: WHY AM I BANNED? — November 11, 2008 @ 5:02 pm | Reply

  4. DOUCHEBAG

    Comment by Carny — November 11, 2008 @ 7:10 pm | Reply

  5. So, you’ve been called a fag and are now bummed…
    The open letter to Mean Mr. Moustache McInnes posted on your blog above and what is on Street Carnage are both arrogant and poorly written.
    If you have a degree I would suggest possibly starting over.
    Now, I will call you a dong.
    You are a dong.

    Comment by Blowfish McGoo — November 11, 2008 @ 9:48 pm | Reply

  6. You are boring. Is this about the attention your daddy never gave you?

    Comment by John Ritter — November 11, 2008 @ 11:18 pm | Reply

  7. McAnus?! POINT!

    Comment by Bob Saget — November 12, 2008 @ 9:12 pm | Reply

  8. This is totally fucking weak.

    Comment by LIPS — November 13, 2008 @ 10:33 pm | Reply

  9. My only regret is that I called him “douche nad” instead of “douche nads”, plural.

    Comment by daz76 — November 14, 2008 @ 8:30 am | Reply

  10. Hahahahah I just got this link off street carnage.

    You fail at life.

    Gavin linking you is probably the only good promotion you’ll ever get.

    Comment by tv on the radio — December 1, 2008 @ 3:49 am | Reply

  11. EPIC FAIL.

    Comment by Jordan Catalano — January 14, 2009 @ 10:59 am | Reply

  12. Shut up. It takes a lot to annoy Gavin and you successfully made an ass of yourself. Sorry, get over it. Getting banned from Street Carnage just makes you a fucking failure in life. DEAL.

    Comment by alex — March 21, 2009 @ 7:45 am | Reply

  13. I just met Gavin this weekend and he did seem annoyed with me, but Ninjasonik came on and we just drank a few beers in the warm Texas afternoon at the Street Carnage day party SXSW 09. I interviewed him, Derrick, him and Derrick, Trace Crutchfield… It was fun!

    Thank you so much Alex for your incredible insight and you rock the internet man!

    I’m going with – NO DEAL!!

    Comment by daz76 — March 26, 2009 @ 5:15 am | Reply


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