May 12, 2009

How to Quit Smoking Part 1

Obviously it’s best not to start. I don’t mean that in any snide way, I bring it up because one of the greatest motivational factors in quitting cigarettes is being able to brag that you did it. Especially to your sorry ass friends who are still hooked, making excuses and treating their health with a glib existential nonchalance. I get it I’ve been there. I mention the not starting thing because on the more positive and less mean tip, one of the greatest things to do is be influential to someone, especially kids, in avoiding smoking to begin with.

So there’s two inspirational quit smoking concepts right there:

1. Gloating at your still addicted smoker friends is genuinely rewarding and

2. It’s mad positive to spread the word of not smoking to kids

Staying on the inspirational tip, lets talk about cigarettes.

Before we do I want you to light up, enjoy the moment. I’m not here talking blood and guts or to scare you. Again I’m not fucking around (I’m known for some sarcasm I guess), I want you to be happy while reading this and I don’t expect you to read this in the throws of quitting. No pressure here, you choose your time to quit. For right now have a smoke and please, read on…

Inspiration 3:

The tobacco industry is so powerful and evil it’s scary. They add poisonous chemicals to the tobacco that make the product more addictive. Research the tobacco industry and watch “The Insider”. Great quiting inspiration, I watched it while smoking.

Now for the how to. Later I will talk about my relationship with the old cowboy killers and my experience quitting, but I’m going to keep this part really simple and technical.

First keep this in mind – you are two things, a cigarette smoker, and a nicotine addict. Basic premise with my quit smoking plan. Here’s what I’m proposing to you: Stay a nicotine addict, quit cigarettes. I shit you not you can do it.


Nicotine gum sucks (at first) and is not central to my plan. But I’m sure that’s what you are thinking, duh he’s just saying do the gum or get a patch. No! It’s better than than that. They have a thing called the nicotine inhaler. This will be your new best friend as soon as the grief of the death of your old best friend (your last cigarette) begins to subside. And that’s real, take into consideration the mourning process that will happen. That’s why this quitting business is extra tricky, because it’s so not just about physical addiction. It’s very mental.

Quitting smoking step 1.

Nicotine inhaler.

The nicotine inhaler is the greatest quit smoking product on the market or at least the one that worked for me, a former two pack a day Camel Lites man. Here’s why: The process. It totally allows for all the elements that surround a smoking habbit and satisfies the real addiction – sweet sweet nicotine. Keep in mind, nicotine isn’t so bad at all, it’s just pleasurable and addictive and legal and cheap. The method of transmission is the enemy, all the poisonous smoke.

The inhaler comes in a little plastic box that I kept wherever I had kept my smokes before.  One of the greatest aspects to smoking is all the little “breaks” you get in life. Stepping away from it all momentarily. I didn’t give that up. I had my inhaler, that while no cigarette imitation, felt OK between my fingers and if I took a good hit I could feel the pure medical grade nicotine hitting my lungs. My smoking routine was the same, only the smoke was gone.

Before we move on to the next phase of my plan let me share a little trick and again, it may sound obvious but this is real quitting business here and I’m dead serious.

Quitting smoking step 2.

Smoke sometimes.

I know that sounds crazy but hear me out. First up this will never work if you continue to smoke cigarettes even once, because that’s what you are quitting FOREVER. You never said you were quitting cigars though, right? Ganja? It’s all good. In moderation of course, I mean light puffs on a bidi as a treat. I promise that as long as you seriously keep feeding you nicotine addiction with the inhaler you will change the way you relate to smoke and smoking, and it soon loses it’s appeal, trust me. But when you quit cigarettes that’s it, never a puff off a cig again. You can never be a weekend/social cigarette smoker, it doesn’t work, I’ve seen it a million times, and that’s the only rule I propose here.

I’m just coming off a DJ high from a dubstep gig at Ruta Maya but I promised someone earlier that I would follow up on my offer to share help on quitting. DJing has alot to do with why I quit but I just have to chill for now. I’ll be back with part 2 soon. This really is just a start and I really want to help people quit because it’s a real life corporate conspiracy to take your money and kill you and you like it.

In summary, when you are ready to quit buy the nicotine inhaler.

More coming soon…


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